The other entity in the room in those first few weeks and months when you’re learning to adjust to this new world. You may not be able to see him yet, but you can hear him, you can smell him, you know, instinctually perhaps, when you are being held by him. He’s louder, perhaps his cheeks are rougher, perhaps his hands are a little tougher, but you learn to associate being held by him with a security and comfort that no one else will be able to give you. That’s your dad.
You may not be permanently attached to him, like your mother, but when it’s his turn to hold you, his attention and affection is something you look forward to for the rest of your life. It’s theexcitement that comes from engaging with the man who brings you the most entertainment throughout your life, the strongest feelings of security, the warmest pride in your achievements and the confidence to go out there and give it a go.
He’ll also bring you dad jokes. He will be dadding his socks off for the rest of your life. In fact, when you were born, your arrival let loose a goof who lives to make you groan, roll your eyes and cross your arms when you’re finally 15 and you’re no longer impressed. That won’t stop him though. He know’s his job is to cultivate a strong sense of humour in you so that you can cope with the hard knocks of life. When you’re elbow deep in a mortgage with two kids of your own –
you’ll be telling the same jokes, your audience may not appreciate them, but you know they come with a certain legacy. The legacy of a man who made you in his image. The man whose pride in you gives you the energy you need to go out there and make an impact on the world. The man who taught you to pass that sense of confidence in yourself and knowledge in your abilities on to your own children, so that they can grow proud of their dad in turn.
He’s the man who wants to do everything for you, he wants to be there, right in the thick of it, amongst the diapers and the lunchboxes and the report cards, sharing his knowledge, guiding you in the direction of self sufficiency & pushing you to believe in yourself. Every step of the way, he’ll want to be there. You’ll be looking back on these moments when you’re much older, and it will be the image of his benevolent presence in your life at every step of the journey, that
will make you proud that he’s your dad.
He’ll want to keep you entertained in your terrible ‘Twos’, when you are at your cutest, and most demanding. He’ll be the one tiring you out with giggles so your nap has you waking up fresh and ready for playtime all over again.
He’ll want to teach you how to count and tie your shoelaces when you’re 6, going on 7. He’ll want to make sure your dextrous, clever and bold to boot. He will want to wow you with his knowledge and expertise when you’re 10. He will want to show you how it’s done when you’re 12. Sharing his hobbies and passions with you will be his greatest joy. The time you spend learning these skills at this age remain with you well into adulthood. Your knowledge of the world and your place in it will be strengthened by everything you learn from him in these formative years.
He’ll want to connect with you when you’re 13. He’ll want to guide you when you need him most. At 15, you’ll probably reject everything he does, after all his cargo pants have too many pockets and his moustache is a little outdated and his rules are So Annoying! So at this point, he’ll keep being himself, he’ll show you, to your total embarrassment, that being yourself has nothing to do with status and everything to do with self confidence. He’ll make sure you’re living your best life by leading by example and eventually, you’ll see for yourself how cool it is to know you’ve got this.
He’ll want to build your future with you when you’re 18. He’ll make sure you know how to change a tyre or check the oil in your new car for your first road trip. He’ll help you move into your first sharehouse by making sure all your utilities are connected. He’ll have you cooking with gas, getting places fast and staying on top of your rent. And you can be sure he’ll let you know how to appreciate a cold one after a hard day’s work.
He’ll want to get to know you when you’re 21. When you’re 25, he’ll consider himself a close pal. After all, maybe he dropped you at the airport for your first overseas trip, stood proudly while you graduated university, been there for you while you made some tough decisions, or had a hand in helping you finish a big project. He’ll have met your friends and any significant other’s you may have brought home. He’ll have put them to the test and found them to be made of the
right stuff by his standards, which are high, because you’re still very precious.
At 30, he’ll know he has done a good job. You’ll have wanted to grow up fast and know everything there is to know, but he would have kept the pace, given you the tools you need and been there to catch you when you stumbled. By now you know how to stand on your own two feet.
He knows you’re doing great, he gave you what you needed to make it. He’ll always be there when it counts, after all, he was there when you put a deposit on your first house, blessed your wedding, brought your first child into the world, and maybe your second, even your third. You can be sure that your joys are his joys. For the years to come his pride in you will only grow as you have over the years he’s been your father.
That’s your dad, be proud of him, just as he has been of you, this father’s day, let him know his time and his presence is the gift that keeps on giving.
